Sorry
by Mairemor
Summary: A Vamp, A Shifter, A Fairy, and a Were walk into a bar... Fun and games at Merlottes !


Sorry 

note : This story was written for Sookiverse's Weekly One-Shot Challenge**. **All characters are the sole property of Ms. Harris.**  
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I feel sorry for people who don't drink.

They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.

Dean Martin

Like so many stupid bets, it all started in a bar over a couple of drinks and Copley Carmichael, Amelia Broadway's bigwig dad, was the instigator. Copley, who had his fingers in as many pies and he could manage, was making arrangements with Alcide Herveaux for a large industrial subcontracting job in Shreveport. Since The Great Reveal of the Shifters and Weres, Copley had been looking for a few influential Weres around the state who were in the business. He was making a fortune doing business with the Vamps and it only made sense for him to send some big subcontracting jobs to well established Weres as a good will gesture.

He chuckled inwardly as he watched Alcide who was speaking earnestly to him across the table. He was imagining him in wolf form. Well, he'd scratch Alcide's shaggy back and when the time was right, Alcide would scratch his.

"We appreciate the opportunity to show you what Herveaux construction can do Mr. Carmichael." Alcide was absolutely sincere. The construction business had tanked. This was a million dollar job and, in the current economy, big jobs were few and far between.

Copley's expensively whitened teeth flashed in a shark-like smile, " Well Alcide, I always respected Jackson, God rest his soul…I'm sure your company will be more than up to the task. Let's celebrate!"

Sookie had been waiting on some other tables but, as it wasn't too busy yet, she hurried over when Copley caught her eye. She wasn't too thrilled to see either man. Copley was a human shark and Alcide was the leader of the Long Tooth Weres and a former flame of sorts. Still she put on her brightest smile and bustled over. They were both wealthy guys and should give her a decent tip at least!

Alcide's beautiful eyes drank Sookie in. He had once called her one of his favorite women in the world and from what she was picking up from his head that still seemed to be the case. She nodded at both of them.

"Alcide, Mr. Carmichael…what can I get for you?"

" Do you have any Glenlevit 12 year? Oh, and make those doubles! And, please call me Cope. Any friend of my Amelia is a friend of mine!"

Sookie gave a mental snort and smiled even more brightly. " Glenlevit coming right up ." Oh "Cope" would just love some of Amelia's buddies. Doing business with supes was one thing for him, but she hardly thought that Trey the Were boyfriend, Octavia the grand witch, Pam the Vamp friend with benefits, or Bob the cat/man were ever going to be good buds with Daddy Dearest.

Since Copley's last foray into Merlotte's, Sam had stocked a few bottles of Glenlevit 12 year Scotch for special customers and special occasions.

Sam was happy to oblige, as the scotches were the most expensive drinks in the bar.

Sookie brought them their drinks and they were having seconds when who should come in a have a seat in her section but Bill and Pam—not the likeliest couple. She was pretty sure with all of the trouble in the Supe community at the moment, that Eric had probably sent them to guard her. She was, after all supposed to be protected by, the King's edict.

Pam smiled at her and Bill held her in his dark gaze. They ordered two O negatives. Just about the time she was placing them on the table, both Claude and Claudine sauntered in causing the pulse rate of both male and female patrons to escalate. Sookie hardy had time to say hello and take their orders for appletinis when three of Arlene's FOTS buddies slunk in giving the supes the stink eye.

Sookie beamed like an idiot and took care of her tables trying to ignore the fact that the FOTS gang were smirking and looking belligerent. "Oh great" she thought surveying the supernatural gumbo " So now we have a full deck, the humans, the supes, and FOTS sub humans."

What a great evening this was going to turn out to be! Just to add to the joy , Amelia walked in with Trey, stopping dead in her tracks when she saw Cope and Pam. If Trey weren't holding her arm, she would have hightailed it right back out. Of course Amelia had to sit with her father , and Trey and Alcide were on good terms. Then the Glenlevit really started to flow and the more everyone drank, the more interesting things got.

Trey and Alcide had invited Claude and Claudine over. Since Maria Star's death, Alcide was looking around and although Claudine wasn't a bitch in the Were sense of the word, she was six feet of feminine perfection. She beamed at Alcide and Cope who were vying for the chance to buy her appletinis. Claude, who'd, had a bit too much to drink himself, smoldered at Trey who clung to Amelia looking uncomfortable.

No one was paying any attention to the FOTS idiots. They were outnumbered and would receive the ass kicking of their lives if they tried anything with the Supes tonight. That was when the shit hit the proverbial fan.

Claude who was as many sheets to the wind as a you can get and still be articulate, stood up. Claudine looked alarmed and tugged on his arm, which of course made Claude even more determined to say his piece.

"Attention patrons, there's a...a Were here says how powerful Weres are—" Claude snorted, Mr. Tact himself!

"But I'm here to tell you that," Claudine was tugging desperately on his arm making shushing gestures—the Fae were not general knowledge and wanted to keep it that way. He finally took the hint after Claudine pinched him hard on his magnificent butt. "Ouch! I wanna say that _Our Kind_ is stronger, smarted, faster" Claude's lexicon was a bit addled , "umm, more everything awesome…than any Were or Vamp or Supe anywhere."

Some of the human women were actually applauding the very drunk hunk. Too bad he batted for the other team.

Sookie glanced at Sam who held his hand up in a wait gesture while he reached for the baseball bat he kept behind the bar.

It was Alcide's turn to stand up none too steadily. " That's bullshit. Any Were could whip your fairy ass any day."

Sookie locked eyes with Sam who had a grim set to his jaw and a firm grip on said bat. He hadn't been drinking at all and he looked pretty pissed off.

Then Bill's cold voice cut through the booze haze and testosterone, but it was not the voice of reason that Sookie had hoped for.

"You are all mistaken fools. Vampires have the greatest agility, cunning, and power. " He glanced' coldly at Claude showing fang. " We are stronger and more clever than your kind," he glared at Alcide and Trey. " Or Weres," then he stared at Sam, "or any Shifter."

Claudine, Pam and Sookie glanced at each other. Although they couldn't read each other's minds, the same thought traveled through their heads " Goodbye reason …Hellooo pissing contest!"

Then Copley Carmichael stood up as jovial as Santa Clause. He was thinking of how he could make a silk purse out of this sow's ear.

" Now gentlemen there's a very easy way to settle this dispute and we can do this tomorrow night if everyone agrees. I believe that you all have bars in the area? Each contestant will start at the bar where his, um kind, is most comfortable. I'll have my associates set up a course around all of the bars. I'll have a neutral rep at each establishment. You'll need to find a partner before tomorrow night, The object of this game is to see who is the first pair to finish the course around all of the bars and reach your home bar the fastest."

Using your supernatural abilities, you may jump over your own or another player that's in your way. BUT... and here's the fun part fellas, if you land in an area that's already occupied by your opponent _**and**_ you're the stronger tougher guy, you give him a good, ah, BUMP, and send his sorry ass back to his starting position. Along the way I'll have reps with cards, if you get a four or a ten you'll have to go back 1 mile. One block from you bar is your safety zone and if you get past the slight obstacle I'll place at each location and get back to your bar first, you're the winner."

All the men stared at him as if he had grown another head. At least the drunks had shut up.

The bar crowd had thinned out some, but the audience was watching intently. This should give Bon Temps some juicy gossip.

Sam looked at the other men. No one was objecting, not even Bill who had the wits to think things through.

Sam nodded at Copley, " So the bars would be Merlottes for the Supes. Claude's for um. his kind, Hair of the Dog for the Weres, and Fangtasia for the Vamps. We've got to complete the circuit, bump or jump our opponents, make it to the home stretch and get past the obstacle you place there. But what's the winner get?"

Copley looked like the cat that ate the canary, "Other than the satisfaction of knowing you kind's the winner?

"I'll offer the Vamps eight bottles of Royalty, Select mind you, that's the best there is. And for the rest of you I'll give the winner a bottle of the oldest, most expensive scotch whiskey on the market-- Macallan's Fine and Rare Collection, 1926. It goes for $38,000—if you can get it—and I've got it." Cope added modestly.

Cope looked at each of the contestants, " So, fellas, are you in or are you out ?" Pam rolled her eyes, as Bill. Alcide, Trey, Claude said, "In!"

They all stared at Sam, the last rational man left standing, and Sam threw in the towel, "Oh alright, I'm in! But what if the losers are really unhappy with the results?"

Cope just chuckled, "Then we'll just have to have another super game night!"


End file.
